To parents, with love

To all parent's out there, this post is here to advise you on what your teenagers are thinking in their head. Well you see, I'm hitting 23 this year which is somewhere in between the end of teenage hood and the first steps to being an adult. Although you are officially considered an adult once you hit 21, but most parents would still see their own kid as a child in their eyes XD. As a young adult who has just departed from the life of a teenager, I feel that it is my responsibility to teach parents about the life of teenagers nowadays so as to better prepare you for your own children who are reaching this phase or maybe some tips that your teens are facing. Do feel free to send me an email from the link on the right.

1. Being a teenager means that they are in a phase of learning.

This is the most important phase of their life. Whatever they become of in the future depends mostly in this phase; I call it the walk of maturity. Pre-teen, most of their memories are actually fuzzy and they probably wouldn't even remember what they learnt or do as they were kids. But during this period of their lives, their memories are deeply etched in their head. It is very important to guide them during this period of their lives especially when they have just hit 10-12 years old. At this period, their brain would open up so suddenly to the world that they might not be able to handle all the information properly. This is because at this age, they would have reached a level of maturity whereby they can think and process information much clearer than before. They would be so inquisitive at every thing they see. So at this point of time, it is very crucial that parents teach and guide their child on what they are doing or looking at. Also, you must be very open to whatever your child asks of you. Even if the matter is very embarrassing or weird, it is very crucial to explain it to them carefully and not just tell them "don't do it because I say so". If you were to do this, I would guarantee that once your child hits the later stage of teenage hood, they would definitely find means to try them. Lucky for me, my parents are pretty open and therefore I don't think they ever had any problems with me over this. They are really open and even ask me to try everything but to not get addicted or into any troubles with moral and legal issues. And so far, I had never gotten into any. So I guess my parents did the right way yeah?

2. No two person will ever walk the same path.

Try not to use the phrase "Ive been there before and I know what to do". Yes you may have gone through the exact same path of their education. You may have went through college before or high school before. But do note that times change, education system evolves. What happened then would not be the same as things happening now. Exams, workload, stress, may very well have been different since then. You may have experienced teenage hood before. But teenagers then and teenagers now are very different from the way they think, do things and act. So try to understand your child, you can impart your experiences and tell them what happened to you and how you manage to solve it. But let them try to solve it in their own hands. Who knows? Maybe their approach could be better and newer. Sadly to say, my parents are still using this phrase especially my dad in terms of academic. He always say (even till now) that if he was the one taking my exam he would have gotten aced them, and how its because of my tardiness that I am not scoring As. But he always forgets one thing, education in Singapore in the past is so much easier than what we are studying now. So many things have changed in 30 years. So parents please don't do this to your children. It gets really annoying especially when you repeat it over and over again.

3. You can only advise, but do not ever do anything by force.

People hate to be forced to do anything. Same goes to us and your child as well.
Most of the time, the more you force them to do something, the more they would do against it.
Try not to hint them into doing something against their will as well.
Learn to explain your rationale to them and if they accept it, they will definitely listen.
But if they dont, maybe they have a better reason for not doing so.

4. Listen, do not judge and NEVER criticise

When your child comes to you and tell you something, they just needed someone to listen to them.
Sometimes they just need someone whom they can trust to listen to their world and rants.
Although some may be totally irrelevant, there is no harm in spending some time listening to them.
Try not to criticise or judge them. If you ever do, there is a high chance that they will close up.
If that happens, you probably wouldnt get another chance to talk to them properly anymore.
That is because the moment you judge or criticise their thoughts, they will immediately feel that
there is no point in telling you anymore as everything they say would be criticised or judged.
And therefore they will either not tell you the truth, or not tell you anything at all.
Sadly, this is happening between my parents and me.
Ive kept quite a distance from them. Most of the time when they asked me who i hang out with,
they would judge and ask why I always hang out with certain group of people and stuff like that.
That is why i usually not tell them about going out or if they asked i would just say "friends".

5. Support and let them know you are always behind them

Your support means really a lot to them.
There is a saying that goes "A child would always go back to their parents when they stumble"
As a parent, let your child know that you will always be behind them no matter what happens.
And be there for them all the time. When they are graduating from elementary school, college,
every big moment in their life, you must be there to support them.
Your children will truly treasure the effort you put in.

6. Lot of love

And lastly, on top of all the other advice, shower them with lots of love.

Being Human is not a valid excuse for not trying to be the perfect image of God

Dear brothers and sisters, many times have we heard or used this phrase "I am human therefore I am not perfect". Most of them being used whenever others question us about our ability to do something.

The Lord asked us to love everyone unconditionally, but many of us say we cannot do it because we are not perfect, even the most perfect human being must have some people we dislike. The Lord ask us to love even our enemy when we are struck down. And again, we say that we cannot because it is hard for humans to do it but Jesus could because He is God.

Now I shall ask this other question that strikes me heavily. The Lord made us to be the image of him, so can we not at least try our best to be the perfect image of him? I have been pondering over this for a very long time now and I realised that every time we fail to do something beyond our reach, we keep giving the same excuse that humans are weak. But we must always remember one thing. Yes we humans are weak, but with the Lord's strength, we can be strong. Never forget that we are who we are because of Him and through prayer we can always find the Lord's strength in each and everyone of us.
And with this, I would like to bring up the chorus from the song "You Raise Me Up".

"You raise me up,
So I can stand on mountains.
You raise me up,
To walk on stormy seas.
I am strong when I am on your shoulders,
You raise me up,
To more than I can be."

The higher your expectation, the greater the disappointment

Dear friends, today I would like to talk about expectations.
Be it expectations of one self or expectations of others, we should be aware that the higher we expect, the greater the disappointment of failure.
Sometimes in life, we take people around us for granted.
We expect people around us to be perfect.
But as we all know, humans are never perfect.
The only perfect being is God and god alone.
Therefore, whenever others fail to meet our expectations or when we could not live to our own expectations, it results in disappointment.
We should learn to not expect so much in life and just live life freely.
This way, we can all be happy and if we fail, or when others fail, we do not get affected too easily.

Dear Lord, I pray that you can teach me to be satisfied with what I have or who I am.
Teach me also to be satisfied with people around me and not expect too much about myself or others.
Remind me that humans are not perfect although we are made in the perfect image of You.
And in this imperfections can I see that we are still human.
Amen.

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentines Day to everyone out there!

Do you know what valentines day is all about?
Im sure most people have heard about the story of Saint Valentine!
Well if you have not, Im sure you would be able to find that story on google.
Im am not going to talk about the story in this post.

Does anybody know the true meaning of valentines day?
You see, valentines day is not just a day of giving gifts to someone you love.
You can do it on any other days can you not?
Valentines day is a day of love.
It doesnt mean that you should only love the most on this day.
No it doesnt. Love should be given unconditionally everyday of your life.
This day 14th February is a day of remembrance.
It reminds us of those people who are ever so close to us.
Those whom may have been closed to us in the past.
Those whom may have passed on to God's kingdom.
And not forgetting those who are still beside us.

"Love is not how long you've been together.
Its not how much you've given or received.
Its not how many times you've helped each other out.
Nor is it based on feelings alone.
It is a decision we have to keep making everyday regardless of how we feel.
Love is about how you value each other."

Dear Lord,

On this day of love, we thank you for the loved ones we have,
who are always constantly supporting us and loving us.
We thank you for keeping us together in a relationship
and ask that you teach us to keep this relationship ever loving and growing.
Teach us to love unconditionally and to never take each other for granted.
Help us to not only love the people we know but to spread your love to everyone.
This we ask in your most precious name.

Amen

Thank you!

I would like to say a special thank you to all my loved ones who have always believed in me and supported me. Especially my brother dennis who has always been with me throughout these many years! It means alot to me for all the things all of you have done. Once again, to my loved ones, thank you all.

My New Year Resolution

Well I have yet to make a new year resolution yet since Im busy with travelling and stuff. So here I am.

1. Be patient because the other person may not understand or accept things as fast as you do
2. Love everyone because God made all of us in his image
3. Accept everyone for who they are because in God's eyes, everyone is perfect
4. Forgive and forget especially those who hurt you a lot because there is no point in holding on to things that have already passed
5. Learn to let go because holding on would only hurt you longer
6. Do not worry about how others think of you because you can never be satisfy everyone with the same changes you make about yourself

Dear Lord,
I pray that this new year would be better.
I pray for that you will help to keep our relationship closer to you
and also a closer bond to our loved ones.
Help us to forgive and forget the bad things that have happened in the previous year
and start afresh in this new year.
Help us to look out and love each other as we would love ourselves.
This we ask in your more holy name.
Amen